Wednesday, August 23, 2006
well, this can be counted as my 1st official post on this blog ....
i have been blogging at friendster blog from the past ....
but seeing all my friends using blogspot, i decided to give it a try ....
well my in this blog, i would like to thank my grandma ....
thank her for all she has done for me ....
when i was a baby, my grandma stayed with us ...
she took care of all 4 of us ... me and my 3 older sisters ....
she bathe us one by one, she prepares our meals, she send and picks us up from sch,
she checks our sch bags ...
she buys us wadever we wans ....
she canes us for our well being ....
she forces us to drink super bitter herbal tea for our own good ....
she scrificed alot for us ....
now i am so to be 20 years old ....
i can say that my previous 17 years was taken cared of by her ...
few years ago, she started moving ....
some times she will stay with my 3rd uncle, sometimes with my da ku ma ...
and mostly with my aunt gina ...
but, the 4 of us, we're still very close to her ....
abt 8 months ago, she had a fall ....
a fall that disabled her walking abilities as she was suffering from a stroke ....
within this 8 months, she suffered a lot ...
all the way until last fri the 18th of aug 2006 ....
this is something i felt so sad about ....
it is because my grandma is a person who wishes all her kids and grandchildrens to
place their studies in the 1st place ....
since fri the 11th of aug when she was admitted to hospital, the doctor said she will go off within
1 or 2 days ....
so, we brought her home on sat the 12th of aug evening ....
on sun morning, the situation was very dramatic ...
my 3rd aunt rushed my cousin over as he was in camp the past 2 days and may have be
able to see my grandma for the last time ...
lucky for him, he was able to ...
my parents and my 2 sisters are buddist ...
so, they prayed for her in her room ...
2 other of my father's buddist friends also came to pray ....
for them, they believe that relatives and families should not talk to the dieing ones as
the person will hold on to the relationship and refuse to let go ...
so when the person dies, he or she wont go to the paradise ...
so, they forced every one out of the room and close the door !!!!!!!!!
there was alot of conflict here and there ....
my grandma stared and called my da ku ma's name ...
she had been taking care of her for the past 8 months ...
out of sadness, she went forward and asked her what she wants,
but suddenly my dad graps my aunt out of the room and told her off in a hash tone ...
everyone was unhappy about it ... my da ku ma cried ... my mum took a chair and sat there
like a toa pa gong .... saying we dun understand what they are doing , they are trying to help her etc ....
den comes my 3rd sis ... she cried and had feets ....
when she had feets, my mum went into my grandma's room ...
she sat a one corner , not praying but just looking ...
so, i opened the door and tell her to come out ...
she stared at me, gave me a look and tell me to buzz off ...
that immediately pissed me off ... i didnt care wad fu@King prayers ut having ...
so i shouted into the room yelling at her to come out ...
after she came out, she jus took a look and wanted to go back into the room ...
when i saw dat i was like WHAT THE FU@K !!!!!! so i yell at her again ... to get the medical oil ...
after she took the medical oil, she merily pass to my aunt and jus looked ....
when no one was noticing, she went back into the room to be her toa pa gong ....
that pissed me offed ...
so the incident ended there ...
during the nite, the 4 of us, aunt gina, aunt yovvne and da ku ma sat in my grandma's room ....
we jus prayed as a family for her ....
my 1st and 2nd sis are buddist, my 3rd sis is cristian , my aunt yovvne is a roman catholic ..
and the rest are free thinkers ... we jus prayed in our own ways but together ...
seeing that, my dad came in and lighted a joss stick for us and went back to his room ...
but my mum was fu@Ked up ...
she again sat in the living room like a toa pa gong ...
making noise ... watching tv ... worse, she turned the volume to very loud ....
so after praying, my aunts me and my 2nd sis had a conversation ...
to surmerise our conversation was about both sides giving ways ....
so on sun morning , i sat in the living room with my mum and my 1st sis ...
i told my mum the whole group of us was not happy ...
she started picking a fight with me ... screaming at me ... saying what they did was for her good ..
we are trying to harm her etc ... so i got mad ... i shouted at her ... that is your believes ... not ours ... u cant force us to believe ...
she walked over and slaped me ... i streched out my legs to push her aside ...
she moved a few steps back, stood ofr 5 secs and pretended to fall down and cried ... saying oh budda u see wad kind of son i have etc ...
as she was whining , i was still yelling at her ...
i have had enough with this family ...
so, she walked back to her room ...
i talked to my 1st sis ... we had a peaceful conversation until my mum came out, standin near my grandma room she shouted at me ...
so i shouted back ... she walked towards me as if wanting to pick a fight ..
te thing that boiled me up was when my sis as us to stop fighting, she shouted at her aking her to shut up .. it was none of her business why is she so kapo ...
so i scolded my mum ... i said who is the kopo one here ?? and etc ... after a while , she say she can tahan ... wan to go to the market ...
and left the hse ...
i continued talkiing to my sis ...
but i discovered something from the maid ...
my mum did not go to the market ... she was standing some where near the gate listening to our conversation ...
fu@K it ....
dun wan talk abt her any more ...
as it reached tuesday, i was scared ... i knew if she is going within tues or wed or even thurs, it will affect me badly ...
as i have my fyp(final year project) presentation on fri ... but, my grandma looks fine on fri morning ...
so i went to my presentation ...
after my presentation, i rushed home ... after i reached home, about 1/2 hour later, she passed away ...
i cant help thinking she did it for me ... she did not want to see me missing my most important presentation ...
she suffered a few more days for me ...
she was such a WEI DA person and i will always remember her in my heart ...
and i promise myself, infact , this promise was made few years ago that once i am
capable, i will leave this family of my ...
i promise ...
JyTheOne(俊颖) at 1:11:00 AM
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